
A Tom and Jerry is a traditional American Christmas cocktail, invented about 200 years ago by British writer Pierce Egan. Itâs akin to hot eggnog, the perfect adult beverage in the bleak midwinter.
Itâs tricky; Iâve made the batter at home, but itâs never as good as that from Schwabls in my home town of Buffalo, NY. Either way, it isnât for the faint of heart; one will loosen up your singing voice; two will undermine your ability to walk home.
My own woodstove, Tom and Jerrys, mince pie, and my bathtub and bidet are among the things from home that I miss right now. I miss my daily hike up Beech Hill, my dog and my husband. Iâm in Albany, NY for the foreseeable future, and itâs dark and snowy. In the bleak midwinter, indeed.

You never outgrow worrying about your kids
My trip out west was organized to get me to Rochester, NY for my goddaughterâs wedding. Before that I swung east to alter my grandsonsâ suits and my granddaughterâs dress. I assumed I could use 9-year-old Graceâs sewing tools. Unfortunately, kids her age are not organized. I spent as much time sorting as I did stitching.
My daughter Mary, who makes Rowan Branch brush soap for me, bounced between being an attentive bridesmaid and gulping acetaminophen. On her way home, she pulled off the Thruway and called an ambulance. That week, she had a stent placed and emergency gallbladder surgery. Oh, and she had pneumonia, too.
âI really couldnât tell if I was sick or just imagining it,â she said.
Even hypochondriacs get sick, I retorted. Itâs good to laugh with multiple incisions in your belly.

And Laura
Many of you know my daughter Laura, who is my IT and marketing person. As Mary was discharged from St. Peterâs Hospital, Laura was admitted. Sheâs suffering from preeclampsia and is there for the duration of her pregnancy.
âYour mother was making Laura work in the hospital yesterday!â I overheard. Thatâs right, and I intend to keep doing it. Once youâre stabilized, a hospital is a very boring place.
I never thought Iâd be doing the daily preschool run again. Little boys are such obsessives. Just as my son and I talked bridges, Josh and I talk cars. He’s still a little shaky on his directions, so Iâm also teaching him port and starboard as we drive.
And my husband
Even I know that, unlike kids, adults donât get feverish on a whim. It turns out my husband also has pneumonia, which is spiking here, in Canada, and in Great Britain. Thatâs a great reminder to wash hands your regularly as we enter flu season.

And all manner of things shall be well
Mary gets her stent out on December 17. Toodles is scheduled to arrive on December 9, which they figure is sufficiently baked to avoid a long NICU stay. Doug is feeling better. The newlyweds seem appropriately blissful, and my granddaughter and I are slowly excavating her bedroom.
I’m not telling you this to worry you; it’s just to explain my distraction over the past few weeks. In my never-to-be-published book, 100 Best Things About Having Cancer, I mention that I no longer sweat the small thingsâand almost everything is a small thing. My family is getting great care, both in this large (and excellent) city hospital and back home in rural Maine. In the Bleak Midwinter is a song about the hopefulness of this season, and thatâs how I’m feeling.
Reserve your spot now for a workshop in 2025:
- Advanced Plein Air Painting, Rockport, ME, July 7-11, 2025.
- Sea and Sky at Acadia National Park, August 3-8, 2025.
- Find Your Authentic Voice in Plein Air, Berkshires, MA, August 11-15, 2025.
- Immersive In-Person Fall Workshop, Rockport, ME, October 6-10, 2025.